see you at the crossroads

so it took me a couple days to figure out what i wanted to say and write about. there's so many different directions i'd like to go, but which one? do i want to be one of those funny bloggers who writes about jokes and makes fun of everything? do i want to be a cutting edge blogger who writes about all things new and exciting? do i want to do a sports blog, where i can talk about all my favorite teams? do i want to write about food, movies, people, chicago, life, etc.?

the answer to all of those questions, ultimately is yes. i want to do all that. i don't want to be tied down to any one kind of thing or pigeonhole myself into one genre. but i figure i'll get around to all of that, eventually. there's plenty of time. what is it that's on my mind right now though? that's what i should be writing about.

so here it is.

i'm worried. i'm a little scared. i don't know what's in store for me in the near or distant future. such is life though, isn't it? how did i get to where i am now? and where exactly am i?

i feel like i'm at a crossroads in my life. i look behind and i see who i was and where i've been; some things nice, some things great, some things i regret, and some things i can't bear to relive. but i've got some choices. i could forge on ahead on the same path, nothing changing, living my life as i had been, and staying the course on the safe straight and narrow. i could do nothing, and wallow in my unhappiness and complacency (not bloody likely.) or i can make a change, switch directions, make a sharp left or right (no political implications there) and see what it does for me.

that's what i want to do. i want to take a risk, for once in my life. if it works out, great. if it doesn't, even better, because i won't have that lingering doubt in my mind of what might have been anymore. i'm tired of living like that. it sucked. time for me to choose a new path, however big or small. so while i am a little worried and scared about which direction life will take me (or i will take life, as it were,) there's also a little bit of excitement and a good kind of anxiety there as well. i look to the positive.

the word crossroads will always remind me of that song in the early 90's by bone, thugs, 'n' harmony. the name of the song was, wait for it..."crossroads."

"i'll see you at the crossroads (crossroads, crossroads), so you won't be lonely."

sounds good to me.

p.s. - halfway through writing this, i realized how stupidly vague i made everything sound. i almost want to punch my own face off for sounding so pretentious and melodramatic. not my intention...or was it? maybe that's just how i'm feeling right now. meh. anyway, i promise to get into more details of my life in future posts. if you're still interested by then. thanks...